3 Fundamentals Of Marketing
This doesn't tell you how well she sings.
Some people are good at it, others not. But there’s a huge amount of work out there for the freelancer who can write convincing sales copy. Today’s post provides three of the basic principles of good sales writing, to help you worm your way into regular work.
My opinion of the Marketing business is, well… low. As I’ve said before, I consider it a business of lies and deception – but lying and avoiding the truth are two very different things. For those who wish to work in this field, remember these three things (I’m talking about “white hat” advertising here – no blatant untruths):
1. Possible, Not Probable
Good marketing text relies on motivating the reader with possibilities rather than definite outcomes. The fact that a product could improve your health, that a wealth-generating scheme could make you a millionaire or that a service can bring you thousands of new clients does not mean it will.
The smart writer plays on the possibility of a positive result, without promising it. Clever wording encourages the reader but does not legally bind the employer to a particular result. Combined with the next rule, such text has great power.
2. Be Vague
“You could make thousands!” reads the text. Quite apart from using could, this clever phrase does one other thing: it avoids telling the reader exactly what they could make thousands of. Dollars? Pounds Sterling? Italian Lire? Small, square pieces of cardboard?
By being imprecise, the writer leaves the decision to the customer. An American will almost certainly assume that the text refers to dollars, when it could mean jellybeans. No promise has been made, no legally binding terms have been stated and should the reader be disappointed, it’s their own fault for making assumptions.
The best piece of vagueness currently circulating is the ad for weight loss: “Lose weight by following one simple rule.” What’s that rule? It could be “Do everything I tell you to do,” which would mean following a list of 2,000 other rules. It’s vague, it sounds great and it’s incredibly misleading. Superb job.
3. Minimise The Negative
The theme tune of the professional marketer should be this old song – as the lyrics say, ”Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative.” Anything negative detracts from the sales pitch. So what if the amazing new household gadget pollutes the atmosphere, costs thousands of dollars and could lop off an arm if you use it incorrectly? That’s all stuff for the small print. The marketing text must only tell the reader how wonderful it is and how much easier your life could be with such a device (and presumably both arms).
Only write about the good things. Ignore or minimise the bad things.
The best example of this kind of work is the flurry of ‘green’ car ads on television in the 1990s: the ecological movement had grown in momentum and influence, so the big companies had to find a way to cater to the green ideal. How to do it, when the thing you’re selling is one of the single worst inventions for the environment?
Easy. Film cars in beautiful, untouched countryside. Emphasise improved miles-per-gallon. Talk about unleaded fuel. Mention reduced emissions (reduced, but still enormous).
With these three rules in mind, successful sales copy is much easier. Now, go get a job!
Worms. Can. Floor. Oh my. What the hell, leave the annelids there – over 4000 types of worms I read someplace, not including common or garden network marketers – clean up afterwards, I’m wading right in.
Clarity department: advertising, marketing, sales & promotion are four distinct disciplines. In attempting to remove ambiguity, let it be known that despite qualified experience I am merely positing opinion here. Marketing is a creative process of identifying what people want and devising – fiendishly, altruistically or otherwise – ways to supply it profitably (define ‘profit’ as you will). Ergo, anyone in business with an ounce of integrity if not yer actual entrepreneurial insight comprehends that customer opinion pays the bills not one’s own. Consequently, correct survey harvesting with awareness of psychographic profiling: values, beliefs and emotional triggers derived from conditioning (whether nurture or nature) should lead to appropriate ‘advertising’, which is ‘what we say’. Ideally, the creation of words, images and feelings our intended audience will relate to. Promotion is the means and the method of conveying the advertorial words, e.g. printed business gifts, a website, newspapers. Selling is, in essence, the art and science of making a compelling case. Is this devious? I venture not. Or, rather, the process isn’t; depends on the intent. It’s a bit like the process of creativity: neutral in colour and sense with the mind determining if it is used constructively or destructively. To put it another way, one could be the greatest craftsperson on the planet, but without the ability to sell, or the resources to pay someone else to do the selling, one doesn’t have a business. A genius idea stays an idea unless there’s a plan and a deadline.
I’m coming out of the closet here. Deep breath. As an adjunct to my mainstream activities, I am actually a reseller of a couple of better than decent marketing-related web-hosted products that generate residual income. Spike, you will testify to the fact I have never once tweeted about them. Nor have I blogged about them. I checked with two of my professional membership associations beforehand to ensure I wouldn’t be in breach of the respective Code of Conducts: clean bill of health. In some respects I could be charged with possession without intent. My argument is that not all PR companies, virtual marketeers or fully-fledged network / ML marketers or whatever term is in vogue – are vermin or paddling in the shallow end of the gene pool.
Nothing and no-one in life is perfect so it stands to reason there will always be a compromise whatever the service or product. Mostly, the process is about managing expectations, made more difficult by the creators of that most irksome of phenomenon’s, dumbed-down society. But I digress. Simply – and it has to be for most folk – the abdication of responsibility by the masses engenders the hubris demanding 24/7 perfection on a plate with a bow, mind the lifetime guarantee tied to the silver spoon, please, there’s a good chap. Which few, if any, business could hope to meet given they’re forced to employ the very same imperfect ingredients. Moreover, our eager-to-please corporate fiefdom nanny State fawns over empirical, if not self-serving privately-funded, standards such that anecdotal assertions of improved outcomes – as opposed to definitive, quantifiable (preferably automated) benchmarks – are risibly dismissed. Are we not all subjective creatures? The average small-business owner also risk ruin at the hands of those who’ve seen too many re-runs of LA Law. Result? Vagueness rules.
Spike, I hear you. Ignorant shysters will die by the twisted ethics lying beneath their swords (pardon the pun), but they are few and far between. The real villains of the piece though are most likely corporate behemoths run by brainwashed automatons at the disposal of reptilian overlords. Allegedly. Fortunately, karma has a way of evening the score for big boys too. I have faith that they’ll also be subject to identical disappointment, outrage and injustice they perpetrate.
For the freelancer desirous of marketing Valhalla paved with gold, I beseech thee, opt to serve those who produce, source or impart ethical goods/services. Thine enemies will fall of their own volition or absence of paying mugs and thou shalt be lending to the manifestation of all that the world needs, while keeping one’s soul intact without a receipt from the Devil.
Great post though Spike. Surpassed yourself there. Now, where’s your mop? I’ll lend a hand with the worms…
Michael: What a pleasure reading that was! Beautifully put, as always. And, again as always, you have an entirely reasonable point of view. There are most definitely some marketers (advertisers, whatever you want to call them) who are honest and there are some who are incredibly creative (a quick Google for “clever advertising” will show a list of some truly brilliant ideas) – I just dislike all kinds of marketing… or rather, advertising.
I’m immune to it, thankfully, but seeing people led by the nose into buying things they don’t need or that damage their lives (or the world) purely to increase the number of digits in a bank account? Feh. Yeah, I’m a hippy. Bring back barter and exchange and open generosity, fund a science project and wipe out the greed gene. Ever wondered why there are so many charities? Because humans use resources in all the wrong places.
Call me a liberal. Call me a communist. Call me a socialist. I don’t care.
P.S. Those aren’t worms, they’re noodles. I tipped the wok too quickly.
Holy Archival Avalanches Batman! Michael!…I hope your ‘mainstream’ activites include being a bluddy brilliant writer…’cause if they don’t, they bluddy well should! :- )
‘Clean bill of health’ indeed…Your Twitter stats add another layer of Qdos to your Credence…and you scored yourself a truly annoying minion…I mean, ‘Follower’ :- P
Another spiffing read from ‘The Spikester’…thanks Cobba :- )
I feel like I did when I used to park my 1971 Valiant (bottle-green with a cream roof), in the Hilton Carpark in 1988 :- )
Further intercourse on my envious & humbled part, would be rendered impotent aside the mien of such doyens of didactic delight.
Thanks Gents :- )
Cheers
Stephen G
PS: Socialist Liberal Commi wot doesn’t care! ;- P
Cheers
Someone Impersonating Stephen G
Listen, fellas’, I’m the one breathing rarefied air here.
Stephen: G’day to Canberra’s finest wood-fired scribe, Mr G
If Spike will excuse my sudden invasion of his virtual crib, may I apologise firstly for being remiss in thanking you for your kind observations over on our man’s recent Obsessive post? It’s okay, stay there, won’t be a sec, I’ll revisit your comments on my reply to Spike’s post but our magnanimous host deserves my second paragraph before resuming.
Spike: that’s the spirit, keep the flags of discontent flying and never trust anyone over the age of thirty. You realise of course, you are communing (stay tooned, commune ideals debate coming up after the ad break) with a fellow film buff, therefore, consider the paraphrased gauntlet as having been thrown: name the film and the character whose social(ist) commentary above proved at odds with the actor’s personal politics. Ha!
Aw, look at that, we got ourselves a mutual admiration society. Boys, this could be the start of beautiful friendship.
Stephen (the sequel): well, now that you graciously mention it, uh, yeah the whole writer thing crossed my mind. Several thousand times since the age of eleven minutes actually. I have reasonable recall if not a DSLR memory of mentally composing a writ right out of the womb to serve on the garage mechanic masquerading as an obstetrician who failed to comprehend appropriate use of forceps when dragging me out into the world by my right eyeball. Okay, if you’re gonna be picky, it was while I was laying there in the incubator clutching my face while giving the guy one of my best hard stare’s out of the other cornea which escaped the ring spanners. Compassion, perhaps an idle streak to go with the lazy iris and the evident unpublished fact I was destined to be one of life’s late developers spared the grease monkey and the world my early missives. That and the brand of obsession Spike elucidated blocking my creative flow for the better part of the subsequent forty-odd years. Fucking Virgo Ascendant. Anyways, it’s a credit to the engineers and schemers behind the universe that I was steered into George Angus’, Jan Geronimo’s and Spike’s twitterstreams (tweetstreams?) upon eventual decisiveness to embrace my muse instead of remaining in denial, content in hurling occasional abuse in that general inner direction. Residual rage has finally been transformed into something resembling creative ability, so, like, yep, ground floor moment gentlemen. You’re witness to a writer in motion. A trilogy of some 80% completeness has been gathering electronic dust for too long on my hard drive. Yet, prior to inflicting the thrice tome on an unsuspecting (niche) public, I am sucking hard on my pen and my keyboard, labouring to produce a nice little non-fiction something between the covers; publisher lined up. All to be revealed in due course. Naturally those tortuous years of angst remain fresh in my mind therefore, friends, fear ye not, authorship holds no illusions, expectations are managed, plan’s B & C are squared away, I imagine being about the place irrespective. PS cheers for the follow, sport. Hope to entertain if not inform…
Spike (continuing adventures of): back in ’97, I woke up, looked in the mirror and didn’t much care for the controlling, judgmental, devout capitalist whom smugly, pretentiously, winked back. Then, I really awakened. In six months, my life fell apart like you wouldn’t believe. Fortunately, I retained sufficient grip, literally and metaphorically, to not become a difficult stain to remove, from underneath a bridge across the M1. Instead, it appeared I’d earned enough credit to warrant a second chance. Despite a dodgy false start I’m eternally grateful for the times that followed during which I dropped out, volunteered in charities, became of service to those less fortunate than I, studied various cultures and philosophies, emerging a more tolerant, open-minded spiritually aware individual capable of offering perspective to those who care to enquire, on life viewed and experienced from inside the cave and the outer limits. I was once a paid-up suburban centre-right twat. Then, broke, with nowt but a backpack and a litany of damage limitation behind me. I gave of my heart, my mind and my soul for over a decade – and still do – working with excluded kids, the poverty-stricken and the hopeless. I teach financial literacy because I lost it all and learned how money really works; to get it back in an ethical way to use it to help others do the same. I teach social enterprise because I trampled all over it. I teach business acumen because I learned how not to do it. It’s not what you got, but how you got it and, knowing you can’t take it with you, the importance of what you’re going to do with it to enjoy a little of life’s abundance while helping others to help themselves. I’m now a home-owner again with a Merc and can spout marketing wisdom, but hidden behind the veil of so-called respectability and wealth, I work a little magic behind the scenes hither and yon, because I’ve been there in the gutter yet helped by angels. Call me a fake hippy, tree-hugging yuppie, a bleeding-heart hypocrite. I don’t care. Bluntly, the journey is about finding balance between extremes. I’m now a believer that life is a paradox; a dichotomy. Each of us shall if not already, come to learn from viewing and experiencing that which we are hostile towards, afraid of, judge, jury and high executioner of, from every angle, fraction and dimension. What we admire and respect in another, we have mastered in ourselves. That which we despise and condemn in another, we have yet to master in ourselves. Frame of reference is the key. It’s a school, hence the wrong use of resources. First gotta experience what it’s not, before understanding what it is. How can a candle know its own brightness if it’s in the sun?
Ebb and flow. The Phoenicians went around the world and built a trading civilisation 3000 years ago without money. Barter and exchange. With honour. What goes around, comes around. I firmly believe we’ll see a return to that. Not too far off either. I can cite, without a crystal ball, the why’s and the wherefores. But, that’s the end of this episode, kiddies and I’m hogging the board. Keep the faith…
Spike, if I were to slip you a few more snaps of Ms Spears, would you lend Michael to me for a day or ten? He is a blogger’s dream! Oh yes; your post was pretty good too!
P.
Hoggin’ the board my sweet a…hang on…gotta do a spell check….ah yes, there it is: …my sweet a#$@! :- )
Are these boards actually ‘hoggable’ Spike? I ‘spose one could argue that they are; perhaps more by dint of apathy or curiousity, or shear bluddy awe on the part of readers &/0r ‘lurkers’ stunned into breathless silence by your loquacious and enthusiastic contributors with something to say and a grand capacity to say it.
Indeed the ‘whole’ writer thing crossed your mind Michael, and it would appear you have the uncommon capacity to capture it, in-toto… :- )
What can I say to a life story, so honestly and beautifully reposed. I’m honoured Michael…thankyou.
And Yep! I reckon we may just be in danger of being sucked down a rather large vortex. The natural balancing effect of our very own, virtual, mutual admiration, male-bonding, feedback loop….and as we all know chaps, there’s only one thing we can do in the face of such natural phenomena?…’GROUP HUG’! : -)
I can ‘soooo’ relate to your story Michael; in brief response, I’ll just say that, my ‘beeeyoootiful’ mobile wood-fired pizza oven, is in fact the hearth of my home, which my new business and finely fed customers will help to build around it.
And yep! I can relate with some considerable envy I might add, that there has, through the course of my life, been considerable “labouring to produce a nice little non-fiction something between the covers”…but no one lined up…ever…a few ran…a couple died trying…but not even a hard-hat to show for it I’m afraid…I supposed I have a few more laps of ‘fiction’ to go yet… ;-P
So, all I can say is ‘Ooh! You lucky lucky bastard!” You have someone lined-up. I’ve heard publishers can be very considerate, and even gentle…but don’t forget your protection Michael…Spike will testify, that one can’t be too careful when dealing with ‘non-fiction between the covers’…ey Spike?
Spike, I don’t know how you feel about playing the role of ‘The Muse’, but you’d best get a T-Shirt mate, because you certainly have a knack for hitting exactly the ‘poignant nerve’ and inspiring and cultivating expression….I wouldn’t be complaining about such things…well not much…I complain about bluddy everything at some point…can’t wait to get out of this ‘human’ suit and into something more…ummm….oh, I’ll think of something.
Much appreciated once again Gents…and Thx 4 the #FF @Qdosology…Ooh! Don’t you just love all that ‘Social Media’ talk?….oy’m pritty bluddy savvy moy! arnt oy….ey? EY?!!! ;- P
Cheers
Stephen G
Hahahahaaaaa! Hassing! You evil doer! Cracked me up! Nice one Cobba…piss me off though…you always manage to do it in a paragraph…
But then you are a paragon of Copywriting ( http://www.thefeistyempire.com )…it’s starting to seep through…your journery to the darkside is now complete ;- P
Cheers
Stephen G
Paul: Indeedy doody, he’s great. Unfortunately, like marketing, I don’t fancy Ms. Spears much. Ricci or Ryder for me, please…
Stephen/Michael: Hogging is not possible, as you’re all invited to the asylum, by definition.
(P.S. Spot the deliberately minimalist response. Don’t want to detract from the vunderbar comments above!)
You’d need some serious Earth-Moving equipment to detract from those whoppers mate :- )
Cheers
Stephen
PS Hey! I did a short one! YAY! Am I a writer now?…Am I? Huh? ;- P
[Bell rings offstage. Wide-angle: children return to lessons from playground. Pans to group of motionless rebellious types, save for defiance dancing in their eyes. For all their menace, a flick of the jackets in the breeze reveals they are armed with little but the arrogance of middle-age wistfulness. Cut to close-up]
New kid (standing awkwardly in the glare): Well, if I had known there was a cordoned off area for nutters behind the bike sheds…
Paul: good to meet you. Tip of m’hat, appreciate the sentiments. Nice site. Pssst, ::eyes dart left, then right:: wanna trade? Spike’s got this barter thing going on and, y’know I’m kinda up for that, but I’m a loyal sort, see, me n’ him are hangin’ so it’s Ricci (colour please) for the gang-leader, I’m partial to the teacher-lady scene with Katherine Ross undressing in a darkened room for Redford in Butch & Sundance so if ya got any b&w grainy stills I’ll see if I can sort you couple hours next week. I gotta be back here by Wednesday, mind.
Stephen: born a writer, you is a writer, always gonna be a writer. Relax. Easy on the trying; already there far as I can tell.
Spike: reporting for duty, sah! I like this asylum place. I was all set up for heckling from the cheap seats, but I mean, wow.