10 Stupid Mistakes On Twitter
I keep seeing posts about the Top Ten Best Twitter Apps, 67 Ways To Use Twitter For Business or 100 Essential Tools For Twitter. What no one seems to be covering is the worst apps and terrible mistakes.
How about this as a better title, then?
The 10 Stupidest Mistake And Most Misused Apps For Twitter That Will Make People Ignore Or Hate You And Your Business
Not so catchy, is it? Let’s get on with the list.
1. Blip (and other music stations)
Sharing your musical choices is great fun. Updating Twitter every single time you play a track is stupid. Why do you think people like radio stations where they hear lots of tracks and hardly any voice? Why do you think visitors scream at blog owners to switch off the damned music plug-in? Yes, that’s right – because it’s annoying!
Do it right: Just link your Blip ’station’ URL – and not too often.
2. Quotes
They’re inspirational. They’re profound. They’re funny. They show us that you are none of those things and have nothing to say. They get you unfollowed. Stop it. (That also goes for sending the same message every hour, on the hour, by the way)
Do it right: Just don’t do it!
3. Auto-follow
I’m not sure who invented the idea of auto-following everyone who follows them (or who follows someone else, for that matter). It’s a stupid idea. The point of Twitter is to listen to and talk with people who interest you, not just anybody who happens to randomly hit your profile page. Switch it off.
Do it right: Follow people who interest you.
4. Auto-DM
When I follow you, I don’t need your thanks – what you’re saying is interesting and useful. If you want to send a personal message, that’s great, but don’t spam me with some crap about being really grateful or your latest way of earning $65,000 in a month. Businesses who send a link to their web site are even worse – hello, I know how to click on a profile, thank you. Send me a $5 gift voucher instead.
Do it right: Ask people to introduce themselves and reply when they do.
5. Auto-Tweet
Automatically sending individual links to absolutely everything you publish on your blog, every single picture you post (on Twitpic or Flickr) or every single job you post on your site is possibly the most infuriating pile of spam ever. It’s hard enough keeping up with the good content from more than ten people without having to deal with your Tweet-diarrhoea.
Do it right: Summarise. Post a link to that.
6. Auto-RT bots
Noticed the trend for stupid apps yet? Yes, they’re automated. This is the worst: bots that constantly search for the use of a word or phrase and automatically reTweet it! What’s the point of that? So I said “Woot”. So what? Astoundingly pointless waste of time, energy and resources.
Do it right: Delete the bot. Sell the parts and donate to charity.
7. Web pages that auto-tweet
You’ve built a killer app. You have hundreds of people registering. You have thousands of hits every day. And your web site sends an automatic Tweet through their account every time someone registers or uses the site. Allow me to clarify something for you here: that’s not advertising. It’s annoying, stupid spam. Word of mouth doesn’t work when you’re the one speaking on someone else’s behalf.
Do it right: Give people the option, don’t force the Tweet.
8. Twittascope
This is worse than the music. Yes, I know it’s only once a day, but why on earth would anybody be interested in someone else’s horoscope? Hello? Go back up the list and read numbers 1 and 7. Thank you.
Do it right: Just don’t do it. Unless there’s a hilarious coincidence – then blog it and link that.
9. Follower finders
The Tweets that people have added themselves to YATD (Yet Another Twitter Directory) are annoying enough (see 7), but the constant advertising that I can find another 50,000 people who are interested in the same things as me just by registering are even worse. The idea of “natural growth” in membership and the fact that these followers are chosen from a list of spammers who register in every category has obviously not occurred to you yet.
Do it right: If the site’s good, tell us. Otherwise, we don’t care.
10. Advertising
Please read the post entitled “Bend over, I want to sell you something” . Advertising in any social media is an enormous faux-pas unless you do it very, very well and actually engage your audience. Doing it on Twitter is the quickest route to follower-migration ever. I’m not even going to mention paid-per-Tweet models of earning. Oh, poop, I just did.
Do it right: Give your customers a reason to follow you.
I think that just about covers all the stupid mistakes I’ve seen so far. How about you? How do you use Twitter to do something worthwhile?
I agree with everything you wrote EXCEPT the quotes. I enjoy reading them. Sometimes they are stupid. But then again, I could say that about most Twitter posts.
My biggest pet peeve – which did not make your list – HARD SELLING immediately after finding me. I can’t get over the number of people who follow me, and the next thing I know I am getting about a billion hard sell messages. Mostly for services that I already provide – so do these folks bother to read my website? Click the link and you’ll see right away that I am NOT interested in your marketing firm. I RUN a marketing firm!
I’ll add #11: Adding “tw” to everything… as in “tweeps” which I never really knew if they meant to swap the “tw” with a “p” or a “cr”…
Jeanne: Oh goodness, yes – the hard sell. Thinly veiled as a greeting, such as “Hello, what pets do you have? BUY MY UNRELATED STUFF.”
Bridget: Buzzword bonanza! (And I’m not going to admit how long it took me to spot the ‘”p” or “cr”‘ joke, because I feel really dumb now… Excellent!)
I agree with Jeanne I like the quotes too. They can change a bad mood into a better one or spark inspiration.
One HUGE PEEVE I have is… on top of hard selling immediately after following, don’t send me into your squeeze page. I absolutely deplore squeeze pages. They are useful but at least put a link to ‘about’ somewhere on there. Otherwise its simply bribery or other more derogatory terms I won’t say aloud.
Hey Spike-ster.
Great list.
My biggest peeve is when I get notified that someone is following me and when I go to their profile page I need to DM them in order to see their tweets.
Whaaaa? Knuckleheads
Cheers!
George
Absolutely loathe blips. Just yesterday I unfollowed someone because her updates consisted of telling me what she was listening to every 5 minutes. I didn’t care!
That “doh!” moment was what I was shooting for, so I’ll take it as a compliment. Great post and was really glad I’ve only used Blip like 8 times in a year because it’s tempting to play Twee-Jay to if you fancy yourself a music officiando… oops, just broke rule #11!
Must… add… one… stupid mistake… all Twitterers make: they join Twitter. Ugh, and I’m one of the lemmings. It’s kind of like the hard drug that blogging or freelancing is the gateway to. Joining Twitter was like putting my name, voluntarily, on a spam and telemarketing list.
Wendy: Squeeze pages are the invention of the Devil. I’m sure of it.
George: Never had that happen. Yeesh, how stupid!
Fiona: The worst thing is when the WHOLE feed turns into blips. Alright, already – you like music, we get it!
Bridget: Hehehe… hadn’t heard “Tweejay”. That’s a horrible non-word.
Steven: Luddite! How dare you be derogatory about our beloved Twitter? It’s definitely a time-sink, but it’s got to be better than chat rooms. It’s definitely been useful for me (mostly for bringing new people here to laugh at me), and I’ve found some excellent blogs from it, too. Have to be careful, though, or it eats the whole day. Bad Twitter, bad! Down, boy!
Great information! I’m new to Twitter and I’m trying to follow all the rules, but I’ll admit it is overwhelming. There are so many people telling me how to do this and that, it takes time to wade through the junk. My goal is to pass along good information, I just hope I don’t break any of the rules in the process!
I like quotes too. But people have been saying quote-worthy things for how many centuries now? Why does everyone quote the same things? Lets dig deeper, people. And yeah, I’m tired of thanks for following DMs too. Especially the ones that redirect to text me.
Great points, all of them. I don’t care what you’re listening to and I don’t want someone selling me the same thing every day in my face. No wonder it takes me so long to go through the posts. Regarding the quotes: yes, many of them are great, but why do people have to post so many quotes a day? (It sort of dilutes the strength of the first quote). Even Tony Robbins is occasionally guilty of this. Can’t we just limit everyone to one quote a day?
Agree with all but 1 & 2, and then there are exceptions on #2. I too enjoy a good quote from time to time. As for #2, if the Blips are too frequent I agree. As for Twittascope, many think their Horrorscope is being delivered to them.
Great blog post, but I’m thinking it might have been better entitled “pet peeves”. Some folks are tweeting your article as gospel (which IMO, some of it is).
I’m a firm believer in a warning shot over the bow. If it doesn’t get heeded then *poof*, you’re gone.
Carmen: I don’t think there are any “rules”, really. It’s like a normal conversation – “right” and “wrong” are defined by the audience. It’s never easy, though, especially with such a potentially huge audience.
Marie: I appear to be the only one who’d driven nuts by even one quote. So many of them are sugary-sweet or horrible “motivational poster” things. Yuck!
Terrapin: Agreed on the warning shot – I follow everyone who follows me, until they screw up. I find it somewhat disturbing that people would tweet anything I write as gospel, though. The Gospel According to Not-At-All-Saintly Spike should most definitely not exist!
Sandra: I’m going mad. Missed your comment there! I’d never considered that a DM would text you: that must be a nightmare with auto-DMs… yikes! As for the quotes, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen all the ones from the “loading” screens on every release of the Total War series of games now. Very original. Not.
I love to use Blip, but hate it when people fill my stream with individual blips – so I make a playlist, then tweet that link. That way, my followers can check out a put-together song list, or not, and don’t have to wade through a bunch of crud.
I agree, I love the quotes I like getting them and I like sending them. As you said find the people who like what you do, so, if someone gets rid of me because I send a few quotes a day, then I guess I really do not want to interact with them.
Agree, please do not send me auto thanks for joining and come to my website to buy… I can find you , if I want to, trust me.
Nice list, thanks
I also agree with everything except #2 – quotes. I follow Deepak Chopra (who quotes frequently) and to say that he is none of those things and has nothing to say is as dead wrong as you can get. The others were right on, tho…good article!
PEACE
I for one cannot stand ppl who follow friday 20 hundred ppl! I automatically skip them! Tell me about ONE person and WHY you think they should be followed!
JR Nuerge
Eco-friendly+Eco-nomical=Eco-fabulous!
I can’t help feeling people think I’m dumb for asking things I really don’t know
anything about: What does RT stand for? I don’t get any reply. That and no
answer when I ask about an iPhone. I don’t use/have these gadgets, so how am
I asking dumb questions? I was informed – from Yahoo! Answers – an iPhone can
be called like a regular number. now I’m insulted for calling the number (??????).
A lot of times, I say one thing and it’s interperated totally opposite of my intentions.
Those I won’t Follow are commercial ads and porno. I have those addies blocked,
so when the Block shows up, I know it’s something I don’t want.
Yes, the quotes can be very uplifting, I have enjoyed the one Ann Curry has been tweeting lately.
Nice list, thanks. I don’t mind a quote occasionally – and it’s good if it’s uncommon, and funny. But I wouldn’t follow somebody who tweets nothing but quotes.
Bridget – Love Rule #11. We’re not tweeple. Conan O’Brien has been making fun of this on the Tonight Show lately.
There are some folks who have interesting things to communicate, but they tweet so much, so often that it overwhelmed my timeline. When I get a new follower I look at their tweets – if they are interesting I may follow them. Even if they are interesting, if they tweet a lot – hourly, say, I may not follow them. If they have the term MLM in their profile, or if their tweets are just moneymaking links of one kind or another, I’ll block them. I won’t give them the benefit of following me.
I also blocked a few political scumbag tweeters from ever following me. Sure, they’ll never know, or never care, but it made me feel good to know that those charlatans can never follow me.
Perfect list…I’d probably add the time where people tweet 3 times a minute about what they are doing while hanging out. Hate that…I don’t want to receive a tweet every time you go to the bathroom or order a beer…
The Devils Advocate says,
“If you don’t like my music, my interesting quotes, my retweets of interesting news in Dallas and around the world, and most importantly a note telling my friends that I posted yet another rant about people that need to stop existing…save yourself some trouble and annoyances…don’t follow me. I am not tweeting for your particular brand of entertainment. ”
The Sympathizer says,
“…heh..I couldn’t think of anything to really sympathize on. I don’t follow people unless they are friends, news, or people I find interesting. If my tweets aren’t entertaining enough for you…well…there is a button for that
”
Don’t get me wrong, I understand the notion, I just find it a waste of my time to spend more than the time it takes to write this considering it.
-Tony
http://tonytown.com
re: #4 – I’ve only “auto-DMed” a follower because they’re a celeb & I didn’t want to call attention to it. They don’t follow many people (doesn’t auto-follow fans) and I didn’t want them to get deluged w/ follow requests.
Agree with everything, but 2. (quotes) not!
Quotes are the salt of life.
All: Thanks for the comments. As with all things, the items on my list are things not to do all the time. Heck, even I don’t mind a Groucho quote here and there, but if quotes are the only thing you’re tweeting, there’s a problem. Same for most of the other stuff!
JR: How could I forget the over-use of hashtags?! Oh, how annoying, especially – as you say – the HUNDREDS of #FF names. Pointless.
Hernán: I’m drinking water. I’m typing. I’m looking out the window.
Tony: Absolutely. At least with Twitter, you can decide whose spam you read, unlike email where it’s dumped in your inbox whether you like it or not.
I have a friend on Facebook and she and her mother have their daily discussions on Facebook. I guess it’s better than the phone for them? Not sure, but I think I’m getting close to un-friending them both.
Personal lives should be kept personal, unless they’re really down and dirty, and then I’ll follow avidly.
Fabulous list, Spike; lately, I’ve been driven absolutely insane by the number of auto-DMs I receive. “Thanks for the follow! Would you like to register a domain name?” (I already have one, which you would know if you clicked on my profile rather than just auto-DM’ing me.) “Thanks for following me! Sign up for my newsletter!” (Not only will I not sign up for your newsletter, but now I’ve UNfollowed you, too. Ta-da!)
Like so many things, proper use of Twitter boils down to basic etiquette and tact. I don’t shout into the street every time I hear a song I like.
Thanks for the great freelancing advice (& the much-needed levity),
Brooke
Brooke: Welcome to the madhouse.
That domain name one is a nightmare: it looks like we’re following (and UNfollowing!!) similar people. Maybe they stalk bloggers… hmmm.