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12 Reasons Writing Is Better Than Sex

June 10, 2009

Better Than Sex - A Strong Right ArmYou know it as well as I do. Don’t be shy, now. Go on, admit it.

Writing is better than sex!

But why? Here’s a dozen damned fine reasons why you’re better off picking up a pen than whipping off your clothes…

1. Size, duration and length really don’t matter.

2. Even if you’re bad at it, it’s still fun and you can probably still be successful.

3. It’s just as much fun doing it on your own as with another person – but if you want, you can do it in a huge group!

4. People won’t look at you funny if you do it in public.

5. It’s legal to get paid for doing it. You can even get paid for doing it at a distance.

6. No matter how much you produce, you won’t have to pay to put your creations through college.

7. You can live out your wildest fantasies with strangers and not have to endure a divorce.

8. You can do it in front of an audience and get constructive feedback.

9. You can do it quietly or you can make a lot of noise. You can even do it in front of your mother, while eating a donut and with headphones on.

10. If you run out of ink, you just load up a refill and carry on.

11. You can do it for hours and still be able to walk normally.

12. It doesn’t matter if your cat wanders across your lap while you’re doing it.

Anyone think of any other reasons why writing is better than sex?

11 Comments leave one →
  1. Experiment 626 permalink
    June 10, 2009 11:48 am

    Isn’t it technically legal to be paid for sex, but not to solicit or something? I ran into an old school friend who’s a lawyer recently; I could ask her I suppose. Yes, that’s unlikely to lead a ghastly misunderstanding due to my generally unclear communication …

  2. June 10, 2009 2:34 pm

    well you know im going to agree with you here: writing IS better than sex haha :)

  3. June 10, 2009 2:42 pm

    You can write with your mother and sister.

  4. June 10, 2009 9:12 pm

    This list was just what I needed today! Ha! Couldn’t agree more.

    Reason #13 You don’t look lame if you do it with your socks on.
    Reason #14 You won’t get yelled at if you watch T.V. while you do it.
    Reason #16 You don’t have to wait until you’re done to smoke a cigarette!

  5. spikethelobster permalink
    June 11, 2009 12:49 pm

    Nice to see you’re all twisted. :)
    What happened to reason 15, Natalina?

  6. June 11, 2009 3:38 pm

    Reason #15 – It’s easier to do on the table and probably easier on the table as well
    Reason # 17 – You can eat while you do it… food, that is ;)
    Reason #18 – You won’t look funny doing it in private either.
    Reason #19 – The kids won’t be traumatized if they walk in while you’re doing it.

    sigh… wonder if I’ll get this meme out of my head today… like a tune…

  7. CFS permalink
    June 11, 2009 4:34 pm

    There is at least one way they are the same:
    If you don’t sequester yourself behind closed doors, people will be constantly interrupting you!

  8. Deidre permalink
    June 11, 2009 7:36 pm

    This was great! More, please…

    20. All your lines are good.
    21. Paper, pen, and computer don’t compare you to their exes.
    22. You don’t need any protection.
    23. You can practice all you want without guilt.
    24. You don’t need a partner.
    25. You don’t have to look good when you do it.
    26. You don’t have to haggle about how many times a week to do it.

  9. spikethelobster permalink
    June 11, 2009 11:05 pm

    You guys have me laughing my head off here… #19 and #21 are BRILLIANT! :)

  10. June 11, 2009 11:25 pm

    27. You will not be called a bad parent when you encourage your children to do it.
    28.You won’t be disappointed when you only do it for 2 minutes.
    29.You don’t have to cuddle when you are done!
    30. No one will bitch when you fall asleep during it.

  11. June 11, 2009 11:36 pm

    31. It is not gross to do it on your period. won’t stain your sheets.
    33. You can bite your pen and it will not scream.
    34.You can stop half way through and not get yelled at.
    35.If you are doing it with someone else you don’t feel bad when you finish first.
    36.You never have to fake your finish.

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